Iquitos & The Amazon Jungle, Peru

Same country, different world. Two hours on a plane from Lima swaps you Starbucks for Camu Camu juice, skyscrapers for bamboo huts, and llama jumpers for mosquito repellant. Breaking news; It’s finally 30+ celsius again. Woop. After refueling in Pucallpa it was jungle from here on in. From the plane you get the first birds-eye view of the ‘giant S’ bends of Amazon River. Bit like a jungle Eastenders credits.

From Iquitos, the largest city in the world unreachable by road, you can do excursions along the Amazon to stay overnight in jungle lodges. Actually, ‘lodge’ implies plush wood cabin in the Alps. Just to clarify we are talking bamboo hut on stilts with no electricity. With hammocks though, goodie.  You also visit village tribes where you wear a grass skirt, dance around, and fire a blow pipe. As you do. Canoeing down the Amazon does feel slightly like an elaborate ride at Disneyworld though, you have to keep reminding yourself it’s real.

So lets forget the flora and fauna, the best bit is the wildlife of course! Here my top 5 spotted list, in descending order of love/hate:

1) Macow Parrot – He landed on my shoulder and scared the shit out of me, then we made friends: I have a vid clip of me and him chillaxing in a hammock like BFF’s.

2) Sloth – In case you were wondering what the hell was in the pic at the top. I challenge anyone to look at its dopy face without laughing.

3) Spider Monkeys – Babies cute, adults psycho. They were so rough. Not like chav rough, like yank your hair, bite your jugular and jump all over you rough. These were tame ones obvs.

4) Anaconda – It’s Britney Bitch! circa MTV awards. It amused me for this novelty factor alone.

5) The tarantula. We went on a night safari to look for them, so it’s my own fault. They live in the ceilings at the lodge. Three words; Don’t look up.

Other highlights included pink dolphins. They would have made the list but lose marks for being so dam intelligent they stayed just far away enough from our boat so you can only glimpse them in your pics. Spoilsports.

For lowlights, it would have to be our night safari with Ally Alexhandro (like the song,) who was suspiciously enthusing about every leaf/crackle of a branch. Total stoner. This would have been funny apart from a) he was carrying a machete b) he took us into a lagoon in the pitch black to canoe around and look for alligators.  What a joker.

Couple of vid clips to follow when back in civilization. Well, Colombia!

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An.an.tas.in : The Anantasin is the name of a shipwreck just of the coast of the Sensi Parasise, Mae Haad Bay, Koh Tao, Thailand. It’s one of my many favorite places.

Lit.tle: Just because it’s cute.

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