Queenstown, South Island, New Zealand

Queenstown is where it’s at. A cute little ski village, it’s hard to imagine it at any other time of year. Following a huge dump of snow last week, the hostels are overflowing with boarders. It’s like a giant colourful Quicksilver advert. I don’t see anyone without a beanie hat and Oakley shades the entire 3 days I’m here, day or night.

My motley crew of QT friends are worth mentioning, purely for a couple of utterly ridiculous first names. I meet Callam on the bus. (This first one is normal; I’m just warming you up.) He’s 18, bless his cotton socks, Scottish, and used to be a ballet dancer. Jaws literally dropped when he busted out the pirouettes on a dancefloor Sunday night. He’s definitely the only gay the village. Then we have Ed and Storme. Yes, you read that right. Not like off of X Men – that would be cool. Pronounced ‘Stormy.’ Surname ‘England.’ ‘Stormy England.’ I kid thee not. She’s a rah as well (a nice one) and it’s really that on her birth certificate apparently. We then befriend a bunch of Kiwi guys, here from Wellington on a lads holiday for the snow. There’s ‘Ross’ – as in Geller, as in Friends. Absolute doppelganger. Jokes. Then we have Ligar (half Lion/half tiger.) I took this to be some reference to his male prowess, but apparently it’s a Neopolian Dynamite thing (hate that film). We have Alex and Nick too, but in comparison they seem dull. Names not people.  Anyway, we spend our three days here doing the following:

1)      Snowboarding at The Remarkables – To be filed under: never again! Me and snowboarding, we’re done. Cocky shit I that I am, I kind of thought that one day in the Cairngorms and sandboarding in Whacachina practically makes me semi pro. However twice does not a snowboarder make. I spent most of the afternoon on my arse, almost fracturing my wrists, and tumbling out of the chair lifts in front of very capable 3 year olds. Plus, Ed and Storme are only pro-bloody-skiers, so in the spirit of peer pressure I decide to join them on the Blue runs. The green area is where I should have been = beginner. I can’t walk today, and TBH it hurts even typing.

 2)      The Skyline Luge- Firstly, love the word LUGE. Can’t stop saying it. Second, love the activity – luge, i.e. careering down a slarlum path in a go-cart. Made better still at the top of a mountain reachable by gondola, and in the snow, which make it feel like a bob sleigh. Cue lots of ‘Jamaican bob sleigh team’ jokes al la classic 90’s Cool Runnings. After this tomfoolery, Nick and I got slightly competitive, and decided to challenge ourselves with some anything goes/wacky races – i.e. pushing/shoving/snowball throwing. We got some odd looks from some well behaved 5 year olds.

3)      Last but not least we dined at Queenstown’s famous Furgburger. A burger joint open till 5am, with a mile cue out of the door at any given time. GIANT burgers complete with pun names. I had the veggie, Osama bun Laden. I’m here all week.

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An.an.tas.in : The Anantasin is the name of a shipwreck just of the coast of the Sensi Parasise, Mae Haad Bay, Koh Tao, Thailand. It’s one of my many favorite places.

Lit.tle: Just because it’s cute.

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